Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
