The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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