Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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