loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
