Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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