You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
