sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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