Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
