Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
