So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
