..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
