if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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