I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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