we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Shame is for Republicans.
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