My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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