Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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