Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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