He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
