Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
