My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
A bitchslap is in order.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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