put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just cut my nipple shaving
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
