I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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