found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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