I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
