Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
