Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
God I need to hump something, right now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
