When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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