If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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