someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize