My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
