Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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