it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
