Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
