Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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