Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize