I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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