There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
