I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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