we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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