In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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