Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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