have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
