bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
