i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
