She is in my trunk
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
bring money and cleavage
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
