I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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