If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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