I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
where are my pants?
in the oven.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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