Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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