ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
