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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
