he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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