I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
