My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
