just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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