I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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