then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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