If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
