Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
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that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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