i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
