Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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