ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
