Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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