I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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