I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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