We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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