I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
