Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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