I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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